过去两天我们看到耶稣面对希腊人想要见祂的消息时，似乎让祂陷入了属灵压力中。无论我们如何去理解主耶稣生命中的这件事情，很明显的是，他内心在经历很深刻的挣扎，「我说甚么才好呢？父啊，救我脱离这时候，但我原是为这时候来的。」（约十二27）。约翰福音十二章这段经文最有力地强调了耶稣的人性。我们看到祂曾经想过要从那将要面对的加略山的残酷折磨里退出来，不过那只是非常短暂的一刻，然后祂很快就重新坚定起来，不动摇地委身于天父永恒的旨意和目的。

让我们再来留意这个真理，它似乎在这黑暗和关键的时刻支持着耶稣──「人子得荣耀的时候到了。我实实在在地告诉你们，一粒麦子不落在地里死了，仍旧是一粒，若是死了，就结出许多子粒来」（约十二23-24）。主耶稣以自己的血签写了一张空白的支票，然后把支票交给神。祂会落在地里死去，带出丰富的收成。祂把自己置身于自我牺牲而不是自救的境况下。主耶稣在那一刻的挣扎，与你和我在这些默想中所面对的相似──死还是不死。我们怎样回应将会决定我们生命的方向。

We have seen over the past two days how Jesus, when faced with the news that some Greeks wanted to interview Him, appeared to be precipitated into a spiritual crisis. Whatever we make of this incident in the life of our Lord, it is fairly obvious that some deep struggle is going on inside Him.

And the terms of that struggle are also clear: "What shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour" (John 12:27). This passage in John 12 underlines most powerfully the humanity of Jesus. We see Him recoiling for a moment - and only for a moment - from the grim ordeal that He was about to face on Calvary, but He comes through to reaffirm His unswerving commitment to His Father's eternal will and purpose.

Note once again the truth that seemed to sustain Him in this dark and crucial hour: "I must fall and die like a grain of wheat that falls between the furrows of the earth. Unless I die I will be alone - a single seed. But my death will produce many new wheat grains - a plentiful harvest of new lives" (John 12:23-24, TLB). He gave a blank cheque to God signed in His own blood. He would fall into the ground and die and bear a rich and bountiful harvest. He aligned Himself with self-giving and not self-saving. The momentous issue with which our Lord struggled in that hour is similar to the one which you and I are being called to face in these meditations - to die or not to die. The way we respond to it will determine our life-direction.