在开始今天的信息以先，我想请你思想一个问题：为甚么虽然我们对神有颇成熟的信仰，但是在没有得到神清晰的指示或控制的时候，我们仍然会感到沮丧？这问题的答案是：因为我们过份倚靠自己，而没有完全的倚靠神。

当我检视自己的生命时，不断会感到惊讶，因为在经过了超过五十年的基督教信仰，我有时仍然会独立自主而不是倚靠神的取向。你不是也有类似的问题吗？我非常渴望行走神的道路，但是又想使用自己的方法。不错，虽然现在与三十年前相比，这个情况已经没有那么严重，但有时仍然需要一番挣扎。

今天的信息对我有些甚么启示呢？它表示在我生命的领域里，我仍然需要摈弃自我中心的老我，而在写下这些话以前，我跪下来向主承认这点。我将来可能仍然会与这个问题搏斗，但在这一刻我非常能够肯定我比以前任何时候都更愿意顺服神。也许这是我在这件事上要打的最后一场仗，当我发现自己在面对未来那些模糊不清的景况、而不再害怕结果时，我便知道这个问题已经彻底解决了。今天我顺服了圣灵的催促向你坦诚分享了我内心的想法，因为我和你一样都是那么的需要神。

Today we ask ourselves: Why is it that even though we may have a fairly mature faith in God, we still find it frustrating to be caught up in situations where we have no clear direction or control? The root cause of this is misplaced dependency - we depend too much upon ourselves and not enough upon God.

As I examine my own life, I am constantly amazed that after over fifty years' experience in the Christian faith, I am still sometimes prone to take the way of independence rather than dependence. Do you not find a similar tendency in yourself? I want God's way - so very much - but I want it on my own terms. Granted, this is less of a problem now than it was, say, thirty years ago, but it is still sometimes a struggle nevertheless.

What does this say about me? It says that in this area of my life, there is still a need to die to my own self-concern, and even before these lines were written I had to get down on my knees and acknowledge this before the Lord. I may still have struggles with this issue in the future, but I know for sure that at this moment, my will is more yielded to Him than ever. Perhaps this is the last battle I shall have to fight on this matter, and when I find myself facing situations in the future that are vague and ambiguous without fearing the outcome, I will know the issue has been settled once and for all. I have exposed my heart to you in obedience to the prompting of the Spirit. I need Him as much as you.