害怕死去的麦子
未知前路，仍然上路
经文
使徒行传二十17-35
17保罗从米利都打发人往以弗所去，请教会的长老来。
18他们来了，保罗就说：你们知道，自从我到亚西亚的日子以来，在你们中间始终为人如何，
19服事主，凡事谦卑，眼中流泪，又因犹太人的谋害，经历试炼。
20你们也知道，凡与你们有益的，我没有一样避讳不说的，或在众人面前，或在各人家里，我都教导你们；
21又对犹太人和希利尼人证明当向神悔改，信靠我主耶稣基督。
22现在我往耶路撒冷去，心甚迫切（原文是心被捆绑），不知道在那里要遇见甚么事；
23但知道圣灵在各城里向我指证，说有捆锁与患难等待我。
24我却不以性命为念，也不看为宝贵，只要行完我的路程，成就我从主耶稣所领受的职事，证明神恩惠的福音。
25我素常在你们中间来往，传讲神国的道；如今我晓得，你们以后都不得再见我的面了。
26所以我今日向你们证明，你们中间无论何人死亡，罪不在我身上（原文是我于众人的血是洁净的）。
27因为神的旨意，我并没有一样避讳不传给你们的。
28圣灵立你们作全群的监督，你们就当为自己谨慎，也为全群谨慎，牧养神的教会，就是他用自己血所买来的（或作：救赎的）。
29我知道，我去之后必有凶暴的豺狼进入你们中间，不爱惜羊群。
30就是你们中间，也必有人起来说悖谬的话，要引诱门徒跟从他们。
31所以你们应当儆醒，记念我三年之久昼夜不住的流泪、劝戒你们各人。
32如今我把你们交托神和他恩惠的道；这道能建立你们，叫你们和一切成圣的人同得基业。33我未曾贪图一个人的金、银、衣服。
34我这两只手常供给我和同人的需用，这是你们自己知道的。
35我凡事给你们作榜样，叫你们知道应当这样劳苦，扶助软弱的人，又当记念主耶稣的话，说：施比受更为有福。
信息分享
我们开始来研读另一课题，就是当主耶稣渴望我们的生命结出果子时，祂可能先把我们带进模糊不清、不能确定的领域去。所谓模糊，是指我们有时会身处一些不能清楚神的计划的境况；而所谓不确定，是指我们不知道应当何去何从时那种迷惘的感受。
你是否那种竭尽所能要把前路看清楚的人？当主每次只是一步一步地揭示祂的计划时，你是否感到烦躁和沮丧？如果是的话，你的烦躁正在显示你的情况。它在说甚么呢？也许它在说你是「害怕死去的麦子」；你害怕把自己交托给神那不可见和未知的计划中。
今天正在阅读这些话的基督徒，没有一个是未曾蒙召来行走这一条不确定和模糊的道路的，可能有许多人现在正处于这种境况底下。今天的经文让我们看到使徒保罗正是处于这样的境况中。他说：「现在我往耶路撒冷去……不知道在那里要遇见甚么事」（22节）。这是多么坦白的承认：他虽然已经上路了，但是未知前路如何。然而他说这句话的时候似乎不带一点焦虑或恐惧。为甚么呢？因为这位伟大的使徒已经向所有的私欲死去，并且向神降服。因此他不容易受环境、情况、感受等因素所影响。我们只要肯定地跟随神──这位稳固的全能者，就不用害怕生命中所有未能确定的事情。
「神是稳固的全能者」
进深研究
雅四10-17；箴二十七1；赛五十五8
1. 我们应该有甚么样的态度？
2. 雅各给了我们一幅甚么样的生命图画？
祈祷
神啊，我明白除非我的稳靠是建立在您那神圣的稳固中，否则我就会受疑虑所影响。求您赦免我总是靠自己的行为，帮助我懂得倚靠您来行走前面的道路。阿们。
The Corn of Wheat Afraid to Die
Going - yet not knowing
Bible reading:
Acts 20:17-35
17 From Miletus, Paul sent to Ephesus for the elders of the church.
18 When they arrived, he said to them: "You know how I lived the whole time I was with you, from the first day I came into the province of Asia.
19 I served the Lord with great humility and with tears and in the midst of severe testing by the plots of my Jewish opponents.
20 You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house.
21 I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus.
22 "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there.
23 I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.
24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.
25 "Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again.
26 Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of any of you.
27 For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.
28 Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God,[a] which he bought with his own blood.[b]
29 I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock.
30 Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.
31 So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.
32 "Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.
33 I have not coveted anyone's silver or gold or clothing.
34 You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions.
35 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "
Message
We come now to examine another area into which our Lord, eager to obtain fruit from our lives, may be leading us: that of ambiguity and uncertainty. By ambiguity, I mean those situations we sometimes find ourselves in where the Lord's purposes are not clear, and by uncertainty, I mean the feelings we get when we don't know which direction to take on the road ahead.
Are you the kind of person who likes to see the way ahead as far as you possibly can? Do you find yourself getting irritated and frustrated when the Lord unfolds His purposes just one step at a time? If so, then your irritation is saying something about you. What is it saying? Perhaps it is saying that in this area of your life, you are "a corn of wheat afraid to die"; you are fearful of trusting yourself to the unseen and unknown purposes of God.
There isn't a Christian reading my words now who hasn't been called to walk this path of uncertainty and ambiguity, and there may be many who are there at this moment. The apostle Paul, in the verse before us today, was in this situation when he said: "I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there" (v.22, GNB). What an honest admission: going - yet not knowing. Yet there seems to be no anxiety or apprehension in that statement. And why? Because the great apostle had died to all self-interest and. Having surrendered to God, he was not at the mercy of circumstances, situations, feelings - anything. Sure of God - the one great Certainty - he needed to fear no uncertainty.
"God is the one great Certainty"
Prayer
O God, I see that unless my certainty is in You - the divine Certainty - 1 will be at the mercy of all uncertainties. Forgive my little antics of self-dependence. Help me to live in God-dependence. Amen.
Further study
James 4:10-17
Proverbs 27:1
Isaiah 55:8
1. What should our attitude be?
2. What picture does James give us of life?
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