過去兩天我們看到耶穌面對希臘人想要見祂的消息時，似乎讓祂陷入了屬靈壓力中。無論我們如何去理解主耶穌生命中的這件事情，很明顯的是，他內心在經歷很深刻的掙扎，「我說甚麼才好呢？父啊，救我脫離這時候，但我原是為這時候來的。」（約十二27）。約翰福音十二章這段經文最有力地強調了耶穌的人性。我們看到祂曾經想過要從那將要面對的加略山的殘酷折磨裡退出來，不過那只是非常短暫的一刻，然後祂很快就重新堅定起來，不動搖地委身於天父永恆的旨意和目的。

讓我們再來留意這個真理，它似乎在這黑暗和關鍵的時刻支持著耶穌──「人子得榮耀的時候到了。我實實在在地告訴你們，一粒麥子不落在地裡死了，仍舊是一粒，若是死了，就結出許多子粒來」（約十二23-24）。主耶穌以自己的血簽寫了一張空白的支票，然後把支票交給神。祂會落在地裡死去，帶出豐富的收成。祂把自己置身於自我犧牲而不是自救的境況下。主耶穌在那一刻的掙扎，與你和我在這些默想中所面對的相似──死還是不死。我們怎樣回應將會決定我們生命的方向。

We have seen over the past two days how Jesus, when faced with the news that some Greeks wanted to interview Him, appeared to be precipitated into a spiritual crisis. Whatever we make of this incident in the life of our Lord, it is fairly obvious that some deep struggle is going on inside Him.

And the terms of that struggle are also clear: "What shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour" (John 12:27). This passage in John 12 underlines most powerfully the humanity of Jesus. We see Him recoiling for a moment - and only for a moment - from the grim ordeal that He was about to face on Calvary, but He comes through to reaffirm His unswerving commitment to His Father's eternal will and purpose.

Note once again the truth that seemed to sustain Him in this dark and crucial hour: "I must fall and die like a grain of wheat that falls between the furrows of the earth. Unless I die I will be alone - a single seed. But my death will produce many new wheat grains - a plentiful harvest of new lives" (John 12:23-24, TLB). He gave a blank cheque to God signed in His own blood. He would fall into the ground and die and bear a rich and bountiful harvest. He aligned Himself with self-giving and not self-saving. The momentous issue with which our Lord struggled in that hour is similar to the one which you and I are being called to face in these meditations - to die or not to die. The way we respond to it will determine our life-direction.