今天，我們繼續思考「願意承認自己的感受」這個重要的觀念。事實是，大部分的人都不願意「感受」負面的情緒，大家會設法盡快把它除去。

人的個性裡面有一種適應性的潛能，稱為「防衛機制」，它能夠在必要的時候幫助我們藉著壓抑或壓制來除去負面的感受。壓抑涉及將它們推往意識以下，去到潛意識那裡，比如說：「我現在不再去想它，因為太痛苦了」。壓制是將它們推進無意識裡面，完全忘記它們的存在。這些「防衛機制」可以緩解我們在需要面對不能接受的情緒時的焦慮，令我們暫時脫離困境，但卻沒有把問題解決。

唯一促使我們能夠全面成長的方法是願意面對感受，不管它們是多麼可怕和具有威脅性。當然，這是不容易的事情，我自己在這方面仍然有掙扎。雖然與二十年前的我相比，現在的我更能夠面對那些不能接受的感受，只是我前面要走的道路還很長遠。要謹記我昨天說過的話，因為那是十分重要的：我們越是將不能接受的感受推開、害怕面對或感受它，它就越是繼續在我們裡面產生反效果。為了我們的精神和靈性健康，我們必須明白任何埋葬在我們裡面的情緒都不是死去，而只是被活埋。

We must spend another day looking at this important matter of being willing to acknowledge our feelings. The truth is, most of us are unwilling to "feel" a negative emotion and we try to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Our personalities are equipped with adaptive devices called "defence mechanisms" which come to our aid at such times and help us rid ourselves of negative feelings by either suppressing them or repressing them. Suppression involves pushing them down just below the level of our conscious mind into the subconscious, where we say: "I won't think about that now - it's too hurtful." Repression involves pushing them down into the unconscious where they are completely forgotten. These "defence mechanisms" may get us temporarily off the hook by relieving the anxiety we feel at having to face an unacceptable emotion, but they don't really solve the problem.

The only way to real growth and wholeness is a willingness to face feelings, no matter how terrifying and threatening they may be. It's not easy, of course - I still struggle in this area myself. I know I am better at facing unacceptable feelings than I was, say, twenty years ago - but I still have a long way to go. Keep in mind what I said yesterday, for it is a vitally important matter: to the extent that we push an unacceptable emotion away from us, fearing to face it and feel it, to that extent it will go on working within us counter-productively. For the sake of our mental and spiritual health, we must realise that any emotion that is buried within us is never buried dead - but buried alive.