害怕死去的麥子
未知前路，仍然上路
經文
使徒行傳二十17-35
17保羅從米利都打發人往以弗所去，請教會的長老來。
18他們來了，保羅就說：你們知道，自從我到亞西亞的日子以來，在你們中間始終為人如何，
19服事主，凡事謙卑，眼中流淚，又因猶太人的謀害，經歷試煉。
20你們也知道，凡與你們有益的，我沒有一樣避諱不說的，或在眾人面前，或在各人家裡，我都教導你們；
21又對猶太人和希利尼人證明當向神悔改，信靠我主耶穌基督。
22現在我往耶路撒冷去，心甚迫切（原文是心被捆綁），不知道在那裡要遇見甚麼事；
23但知道聖靈在各城裡向我指證，說有捆鎖與患難等待我。
24我卻不以性命為念，也不看為寶貴，只要行完我的路程，成就我從主耶穌所領受的職事，證明神恩惠的福音。
25我素常在你們中間來往，傳講神國的道；如今我曉得，你們以後都不得再見我的面了。
26所以我今日向你們證明，你們中間無論何人死亡，罪不在我身上（原文是我於眾人的血是潔淨的）。
27因為神的旨意，我並沒有一樣避諱不傳給你們的。
28聖靈立你們作全群的監督，你們就當為自己謹慎，也為全群謹慎，牧養神的教會，就是他用自己血所買來的（或作：救贖的）。
29我知道，我去之後必有兇暴的豺狼進入你們中間，不愛惜羊群。
30就是你們中間，也必有人起來說悖謬的話，要引誘門徒跟從他們。
31所以你們應當儆醒，記念我三年之久晝夜不住的流淚、勸戒你們各人。
32如今我把你們交託神和他恩惠的道；這道能建立你們，叫你們和一切成聖的人同得基業。33我未曾貪圖一個人的金、銀、衣服。
34我這兩隻手常供給我和同人的需用，這是你們自己知道的。
35我凡事給你們作榜樣，叫你們知道應當這樣勞苦，扶助軟弱的人，又當記念主耶穌的話，說：施比受更為有福。
信息分享
我們開始來研讀另一課題，就是當主耶穌渴望我們的生命結出果子時，祂可能先把我們帶進模糊不清、不能確定的領域去。所謂模糊，是指我們有時會身處一些不能清楚神的計劃的境況；而所謂不確定，是指我們不知道應當何去何從時那種迷惘的感受。
你是否那種竭盡所能要把前路看清楚的人？當主每次只是一步一步地揭示祂的計劃時，你是否感到煩躁和沮喪？如果是的話，你的煩躁正在顯示你的情況。它在說甚麼呢？也許它在說你是「害怕死去的麥子」；你害怕把自己交託給神那不可見和未知的計劃中。
今天正在閱讀這些話的基督徒，沒有一個是未曾蒙召來行走這一條不確定和模糊的道路的，可能有許多人現在正處於這種境況底下。今天的經文讓我們看到使徒保羅正是處於這樣的境況中。他說：「現在我往耶路撒冷去……不知道在那裡要遇見甚麼事」（22節）。這是多麼坦白的承認：他雖然已經上路了，但是未知前路如何。然而他說這句話的時候似乎不帶一點焦慮或恐懼。為甚麼呢？因為這位偉大的使徒已經向所有的私慾死去，並且向神降服。因此他不容易受環境、情況、感受等因素所影響。我們只要肯定地跟隨神──這位穩固的全能者，就不用害怕生命中所有未能確定的事情。
「神是穩固的全能者」
進深研究
雅四10-17；箴二十七1；賽五十五8
1. 我們應該有甚麼樣的態度？
2. 雅各給了我們一幅甚麼樣的生命圖畫？
祈禱
神啊，我明白除非我的穩靠是建立在您那神聖的穩固中，否則我就會受疑慮所影響。求您赦免我總是靠自己的行為，幫助我懂得倚靠您來行走前面的道路。阿們。
The Corn of Wheat Afraid to Die
Going - yet not knowing
Bible reading:
Acts 20:17-35
17 From Miletus, Paul sent to Ephesus for the elders of the church.
18 When they arrived, he said to them: "You know how I lived the whole time I was with you, from the first day I came into the province of Asia.
19 I served the Lord with great humility and with tears and in the midst of severe testing by the plots of my Jewish opponents.
20 You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house.
21 I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus.
22 "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there.
23 I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me.
24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.
25 "Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again.
26 Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of any of you.
27 For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.
28 Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God,[a] which he bought with his own blood.[b]
29 I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock.
30 Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.
31 So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.
32 "Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.
33 I have not coveted anyone's silver or gold or clothing.
34 You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions.
35 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "
Message
We come now to examine another area into which our Lord, eager to obtain fruit from our lives, may be leading us: that of ambiguity and uncertainty. By ambiguity, I mean those situations we sometimes find ourselves in where the Lord's purposes are not clear, and by uncertainty, I mean the feelings we get when we don't know which direction to take on the road ahead.
Are you the kind of person who likes to see the way ahead as far as you possibly can? Do you find yourself getting irritated and frustrated when the Lord unfolds His purposes just one step at a time? If so, then your irritation is saying something about you. What is it saying? Perhaps it is saying that in this area of your life, you are "a corn of wheat afraid to die"; you are fearful of trusting yourself to the unseen and unknown purposes of God.
There isn't a Christian reading my words now who hasn't been called to walk this path of uncertainty and ambiguity, and there may be many who are there at this moment. The apostle Paul, in the verse before us today, was in this situation when he said: "I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there" (v.22, GNB). What an honest admission: going - yet not knowing. Yet there seems to be no anxiety or apprehension in that statement. And why? Because the great apostle had died to all self-interest and. Having surrendered to God, he was not at the mercy of circumstances, situations, feelings - anything. Sure of God - the one great Certainty - he needed to fear no uncertainty.
"God is the one great Certainty"
Prayer
O God, I see that unless my certainty is in You - the divine Certainty - 1 will be at the mercy of all uncertainties. Forgive my little antics of self-dependence. Help me to live in God-dependence. Amen.
Further study
James 4:10-17
Proverbs 27:1
Isaiah 55:8
1. What should our attitude be?
2. What picture does James give us of life?
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